To Mend a Ginger Soul
by Miyuki Tanaka
Summary: Sequel to "Only in the Dark" Summary: After an encounter with the dark side of the Emerald Archer, Roy finds himself in a tug of war with his sanity. Can his friends and a certain hero mend him? Or will depression overcome this young archer? I suck a summaries. Rated M for drug use, rape, language, abuse, character death and sexual situations.
1. To Mend a Ginger Soul

**To Mend a Ginger Soul**

**Summary: After an encounter with the dark side of the Emerald Archer, Roy finds himself in a tug of war with his sanity. Can his friends and a certain superhero mend him? Or will depression overcome this young archer? (I suck at writing summaries so just read the story and get it over with.) Pairings will be announced later chapters. This fiction is rated M for drug use, rape, language and sexual situations.**

Roy Harper threw the blankets off his sweating body and sighed. He'd just had another nightmare. It was the same one he had been having for several years now.

"This had to stop," he growled to himself, sitting up from his bed.

He had to get himself together if he ever expected to get through the day with ease. Wally and Dick invited him to the movies today. He was against it at first but Barry talked him into it. It was probably just another attempt to get him to babysit while Barry was off doing god-knows-what around Central City. He didn't feel the need to ask.

Roy dressed in a pair of blue jeans, red V-neck tee shirt, and red and black checkered vans (his favorite shoes). Oliver had bought them for his birthday. It was the only thing that he seemed to give up money for.

Of course, he hadn't seen Ollie for a while now. There were reasons why. Reasons he didn't feel like going over in his head.

Throwing on a black hoodie, Roy made his way to the nearest Zeta Tube Central City. After his Molecules were reassembled he found that the two were on the other side of the building, ready to go. Dick was dressed in his black and green hoodie with a pair of black skinny jeans and a black shirt. Wally was wearing a brown sweater and navy blue jeans.

Roy shook his head, wondering why he noticed this. He always seemed to get side tracked when he started paying attention to what a person was wearing. It was weird, but he tolerated it. It was one of the few bad habits he didn't beat himself up over.

"Where's Kaldur?" He wondered.

Surely he would be there.

"Something going on between him and his girlfriend."

"Rocket? What happened?"

Wally and Dick both shrugged.

"Anniversary I think," the speedster answered.

"Great...Great..." Roy sighed. "Let's just get the fuck out of here before someone starts to think we're drug dealers or something."

* * *

The movie (Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter) went by faster than Roy expected. He had enough time to zeta to Star City and get a nap in before he had to go on patrol. He waited for Wally to take a piss and Dick to finish flirting with one of the girls at a concession stand before yanking the two out of the theater. They risked getting kicked out one time they were here, now they were on the verge of getting banned "temporarily".

The first time was one Roy would always remember. Those were the nights he loved. The nights he cherished, even if it did mean getting yelled at by the 'big bad bat'.

It went a little something like this:

Wally decided that it would be fun to fill a popcorn bucket with butter and spill it carton the isle "accidentally". Roy was stuck babysitting that night so he didn't really care what happened. As long as he was paid, everything was great. He even let Dick get a full on sugar rush and run circles around the audience members before he got caught in Wally's prank. Well, he and several other who came to assist him. Dick's 44 ounce Sprite flew out of his hands and landed itself on Wally's chest, breaking open and soaking the nine year old from his head to his ankles.

Wally tried to get Roy's attention but he was already on his way to see the mess that the two had made when Wally crashed into him, sending the bucket of popcorn flying into the air and landing perfectly atop the young speedster's head like a hat. Roy remembered the manager yelling at them as he hurriedly rushed two butter popcorn and soda soaked kids to the Arrowcar that he "borrowed" (more like liberated, since it was paid for with Star City tax payer's dollars).

It was a good thing Ollie decided to teach him how to drive at such a young, illegal, age because they would have been arrested if they'd stayed any longer. Their little treat from "Big Brother" Roy was ended with a long scrubbing in the bathtub and a Chinese take-out dinner. But since Roy was always the generous one, he decided to split a carton of ice cream with the two.

They fell asleep on the couch, with spoons in their mouths, and an empty card board bowl of butter pecan blue bell ice cream discarded to the floor. Roy's arm was draped around Wally's shoulder and Wally's head on his chest. Dick's head was resting in Roy's lap, hugging his arm like a teddy bear. He wasn't sure how he ended up later on a soft pallet on the floor but when he woke up, he was laying in between the two who were cuddling close to him for warmth. A warm blanket was drawn over the three and he could see Wally's tiny feet dangling out the side of the blanket and over the pallet.

Barry was fast asleep on the couch still dressed in his police uniform. He looked like he had a long night, so Roy decided that he cook for him, Dick, Wally, and Iris before returning to Star City. Iris, of course, almost beat him to the kitchen, so they tag teamed on the breakfast. He remembered how hard it must have been to cook for not one but _two_ men who ate the equivalent to a horse's weight in food. But, then again, a hungry speedster is a dead speedster as Ollie liked to put it.

Roy was almost too lost in his memories to remember that he had to take Wally and Dick to Barry's and Iris's house before night fall. It was nearing thanksgiving break, so Dick was staying in Central City with Wally until their regular school hours resumed.

Roy opened the door with the spare key Iris had given him and the two ran up to Wally's room, dragging Roy along.

"Roy? Would you like to stay for dinner?" Iris asked, but before he could answer, he was thrown into Wally's room and handed an XBOX controller.

"COD MW2?" He asked, getting comfortable on the stiff, but surprisingly comfortable bed.

"You're on!" Dick challenged before starting the game.

* * *

A/N: Please, leave a review with your comments on the story. This is my first time writing a fanfiction like this and I would enjoy a little moral support. Flames are welcome, although I will happily laugh and ignore them if it ends up being a waste of my brainspace. Please feel free to give your advice or suggestions if you wish.

Thank you.

~Maxx


	2. To Comfort a Frightened Thought

**To Comfort a Frightened Thought**

_"Please! Leave me alone!"_

_He felt fingers trace his lips as he whimpered pathetically. _

_"I don't like this," he repeated several times. "I don't like this!"_

_"But your body says differently."_

_His body felt cold now. Fingers traced around his manhood softly. Roy bit his lip to keep from moaning. If he made any noise, he would lose. He wanted to believe that this was just a sick game._

_"Don't look so embarrassed. It's okay."_

_"Please, stop."_

_"Roy..."_

_"Let me go!"_

_"Roy..."_

"ROY!"

He shot up and looked around. He was still in the Allen's' home on their couch. Barry was hovering over him with a frightened expression on his face.

"Barry-I-"

"Roy," Barry whispered. "You're crying."

The younger man quickly wiped his face. It never occurred to him that he cried in his sleep. He always suspected that it was just sweat. But now he knew. Tears were streaming down his face and he couldn't stop them. He felt lost. He felt ashamed. And now, more than ever, he felt scared.

"I'm sorry," Roy choked out.

He buried his face in his hands and whimpered silently.

"What are you sorry for, Roy?" Barry asked softly.

"Please, just-I'll be fine," Roy sobbed. "I just...I just need..."

"What is it? What do you need?"

Roy was crying now. He couldn't hold it in. He was so confused even now. Even after everything had happened, he was still confused.

"Please, just leave me alone."

Roy should have known better. Barry wasn't going to leave him like this. Not after what he was seeing. He pulled the younger man into his arms and embraced him. He stroked the back of his neck soothingly, cradling him with care.

Roy cried even harder. Barry knew what he'd done; he's cracked open Roy Harper's barrier just enough to see him open up. It was something that Roy rarely allowed. Even now at such a difficult time in his life, he kept his barriers up. Until the moment that Barry pulled him into his lap and cradled him like he was a child.

Roy's fingers gripped the older man's broad shoulders and buried his face in his chest. He stopped crying just enough to get a grip on himself. He was better than this! It had been at least a full month, why would he break down now?

"Roy," Barry whispered.

That name made him cringe inwardly. But there was a way that Barry said it that kept him from being entirely frightened. It was soft and calm. It was caring and loving, unlike the way he'd heard it previously when it slipped into his ear and settled there as a reminder of his pain.

Barry leaned in closer. He was looking deep into those clouded cerulean eyes trying to see what kind of confession he could get out of him.

"Bar-"

Roy could see that there was something in those eyes. Something unexplained.

"-ry."

Soft. Sweet. It tasted of coffee and caramel. The taste on his tongue was familiar. Intoxicating.

"Caramel Macchiato," Roy panted after Barry pulled away.

He was surprised that the kid didn't slap him. He was more surprised to find that Roy pushed himself forward to catch Barry's lips in his again. It was nice to finally have someone there for a change. He'd never been treated with such care in his life.

Not since Donna at least. But she left after Roy confessed to her about what was going on with his life. She couldn't handle it. Not by a long shot.

Roy threw his arms around Barry's neck and deepened the kiss. He took in all the tastes upon his tongue. All the scents that lingered on the front of his uniform. Roy moaned softly as their tongues brushed and played against each other. Barry was skilled with his mouth; he had to give him that.

Barry kept his left hand at Roy's back and slid the right one up his shirt. Not groping, just touching. Rubbing. Massaging. Then his hands trailed down to Roy's waist. His fingers dipped at the waistband of his sweatpants, then past his boxers. That was when Roy had to call it quits.

He pushed away from the older man and scrambled out of his lap. Barry gave him an understanding smile.

"I get it. I'm sorry. I came on too fast."

Roy shook his head. "You don't understand. I-"

He wanted so badly to tell Barry, but the right words wouldn't come out. Barry nodded and kissed his lips one last time before returning to his and Iris's room. Roy sighed and curled himself in the blankets. This was going to be a long morning.

* * *

Please forgive me for such a short chapter. A thank you to MyLittleAngel for being the first to review. (You're always my favorite Angel!) I would love to know what you think of the story so far.

~Maxx


	3. Another Time Mr Allen

**Another Time Mr. Allen**

The blonde haired man found himself rushing into the livingroom the next morning to check on the ninteen year old. As he'd feared, Roy was already gone.

_Maybe I came on too strong. Maybe he wasn't ready._

Barry allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts as he dressed for work. Iris had breakfast waiting in the kitchen and Robin and Wally were still asleep after a long night of video games and snack cakes. Barry made his way into the kitchen to see Iris out and she kissed him for good luck. It felt awkward, considering that she was unaware of the events that happened the night before. Guilt was already starting to boil inside him.

He was having dreams about someone other than his wife. Another _man!_ Not only that, but a young man he'd known since he was just eight years old!

Barry wanted nothing more than to embrace him and love him. Unfortunately he knew this was a sin in the eyes of god. Commiting adultury was one thing but with another man!

"This is so frustrating!" He groaned throwing himself on the couch.

"What's so frustrating?" a voice asked.

Barry sat up and caught a pair of blue eyes fixed on his green ones. Roy was wearing nothing but a silver chain around his neck and a pair of blue jeans. Barry could feel himself tense up at the sight of him. He looked like he'd just gotten out of the shower. His hair was still wet and shiny. He sat down next to Barry, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor.

"Look, I wanted to talk to you about last night."

Barry opened his mouth to speak, but Roy cut him off.

"I...I accepted Iris's offer about staying here for the holidays."

Barry's heart soared. He felt like he was being lifted in the air. A small smile stretched across his face slightly, but he quickly bit his bottomlip to keep Roy from seeing.

"I'm only doing this for Iris and Wally and Robin. And...also because I like to cook." He looked up at Barry and smiled. "Even if it is for an army."

Barry scooted closer, just a bit. He didn't want to scare Roy away. Just to give him a bit of closure.

"As for last night...I really liked that you were there to comfort me, ya know. And, hell, I enjoyed kissing you. A lot. But, you're married, and I've gone through way to much to have a tryst with a man twice my age. Not only that, but i don't want to come between you and iris and-"

"Roy, listen to me," Barry whispered. He pulled the younger man closer to him and into his lap.

Roy threw his arms around Barry's neck and sighed. He loved being like this with him.

"You don't have to worry about me and Iris, that's my job."

Blue eyes met green once again and Roy felt a spark of relaxation ruch over him. He'd never felt so calm in his life.

"But, Barry..."

Barry kissed Roy softly. Roy gripped the man's shoulders and adjusted himself so that he was straddling Barry's lap. Barry pushed himself up so that he was leaning back and deepened the kiss.

"Barry, wait," Roy breathed.

He heard the door open in the back. Barry pulled Roy closer to him and kissed him again. Roy tried to break free but the older man was too strong.

"Barry stop!" Roy gasped as a shadow approached down the hall.

He pushed the blonde away and scrambled to his feet. Barry looked taken aback, but understood when he saw Wally groggily making his way into the kitchen. He seemed to not notice them as he trotted to the table and started gorging down his breakfast. Robin followed behind him and sat one seat away from Wally, leaving room for Roy to sit in the middle.

"Hey, you guys gonna come eat or what?" Robin questioned.

Roy looked at Barry with eyes that said "another time" and went to join the two in the kitchen. Barry cursed inwardly, knowing that he'd only have one shot at getting Roy all to himself today.

* * *

Roy spent the night channel surfing on the couch. He could only find some Adam West Batman Tv reruns and an episode of How I Met Your Mother. Other than that, there was nothing worth watching.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he wanted Barry to come and join him. He wanted to kiss him again. He might have even felt like going to the next step. Roy didn't understand why Barry Allen would want someone like him. It just didn't make sense.

"Roy?"

The red head looked up to find Barry sitting beside him. He was basically naked except for a pair of red and yellow boxers.

"Dreams do come true," he joked.

"Look, I'm sorry about this morning," The blonde man sighed. "It's just that, I can get a bit out of control. I didn't mean to take it as far as I did."

Roy straddled Barry's waist and brought his (Roy's) lips to his (Barry's). The passion was overwhelming. It took Barry by surprise; he didn't know the kid was such a great kisser.

Barry placed his hands on both of Roy's hips and pulled him closer.

_Iris could wake up any minute,_ Roy thought. _ If she caught us, Barry would be dead._

Roy started to pull away but stopped when he felt Barry's hand at his back, keeping him from moving away. They were grinding against each other gently, not wanting the other to stop.

Barry's tongue ran along Roy's bottom lip and Roy returned it by snaking his way into the older man's mouth. Barry moaned slightly, trying to adjust himself to a more comfortable position on the couch. He pushed Roy's back against the cushin's and positioned himself on top of him while keeping their kiss unbroken.

He ran his finger up and down the bulge in Roy's jeans and stared at him.

"Can I touch you here?" He asked.

Roy bit his lip and nodded. Barry grabbed the bulge and massaged it roughtly. Roy threw his head back and grunted.

"Are you okay with this?" Barry asked, unbuttoning the ninteen year old's jeans and stroking him through his boxers.

"Ye-yeah." Roy panted. "Keep going."

Barry slid his jeans and his boxers down to his knees. Roy hissed when he felt the cold air hit his erection. Barry kissed the younger man's throbbing member then licked the length twice to see what kind of reaction he could get out of him.

Roy cried out softly, but covered him mouth to keep himself from waking anyone.

"How about this?"

Barry took the man in his mouth and sucked. It wasn't hard, but it was enough to get Roy more than worked up. He whimpered at the feeling of a hot mouth over his penis. Barry couldn't help but smile inwardly. He had him right where he wanted him.

Roy moaned softly, then covered his face from embarrassment.

"You don't have to be ashamed, Roy," Barry said comfortingly.

Something about that phrase sent shivers down the younger man's spine.

"Barry, stop!" He cried.

Barry took him deeper in his mouth and Roy cringed in pleasure.

"Barry!" Roy moaned. "Stop."

He felt himself thrusting into Barry's mouth unwillingly. Roy arched his back and whimpered.

"Barry, please, I'm gonna...I..."

He couldn't get his sentence out fast enough before he shot load right in the blonde man's mouth. Roy closed his eyes and covered his face.

Did he really just do that...to the Flash?

"Roy," Barry whispered, moving the man's arms from his face.

He kissed him again and smiled. "It's okay."

Roy nodded weakly. Barry kissed his forhead and stood up.

"You know where the bathroom is."

Roy nodded again and pulled his jeans up before making his way upstairs.

Seeing the bulge in his boxers, Barry bit his lip. He couldn't belive what he'd just done.

"Barry Allen, you've gone too far," he muttered.

After cleaning himself up, he returned to his bed and settled beside his wife. Iris snuggled next to him and kissed him gently. _This_ was how it was supposed to be. Here with Iris. Not with Roy.

At least, that's what he told himself.

"Oh," Iris giggled, grabbing Barry's erection. "Is this for me?"

Barry smiled and let her straddle him.

"Always, honey," he lied.


	4. FWB?

**FWB?**

It was a phase. That's all it was. A phase.

Barry tried to tell himself that, but he couldn't help notice that he was starting to have serious feelings for the kid. He found himself watching over Roy more than he should and helping him with the most trivial things just to get a chance to touch him.

He had to stop himself from moaning out the young man's name the other night with Iris. He wasn't sure if the name slipped out though. And if it did, Iris hadn't mentioned it...Yet.

Roy knew that this was wrong. He knew he shouldn't be doing this with a married man of all people. It was just a matter of time before someone caught them. He knew he couldn't get away with doing this with Barry.

Well...Ollie never got caught...But that was because Roy never told anyone about it. He was more afraid of what would happen to Oliver than what would happen to him if anyone found out.

Roy shivered at the thought of that night. He was so useless. So weak. He never wanted to go through anything like that again.

Barry shed a different light on it all. He realized that loving someone could be beneficial to both sides and not forced onto someone. Barry was kind with him and went slow and at the pace that Roy wanted.

He should at least thank him in some way...right?

"Barry," Roy called from the hallway.

"Yeah Roy?"

Barry rushed down the hall to see what he wanted, only to find himself pushed against a wall and caught by a pair of warm lips. Barry wrapped his arms around Roy's back and held him there. Their hips ground together frantically, in desperate need of attention from the other.

Roy bent down to his knees and unzipped Barry's khakis.

"Wait," Barry whispered. "Are you sure about this?"

Roy nodded. "Dick and Wally went to visit a friend. No one's around but us."

Roy took the older man in his mouth. Barry's knees were shaking about a minute into it. He was loosing himself. He tried to grab something, anything.

Roy grabbed both of Barry's hands and brought them to the back of his head. His fingers buried themselves in the younger male's red hair as he thrust into Roy's mouth.

"Roy, stop!" he moaned pulling himself off the younger man.

He pulled Roy to his feet and kissed him passionately. Barry started to unbuckle his jeans. This time, Roy didn't protest when he felt a hand slip to his sensitive areas. Barry was so good at this Roy could have thought that he'd been with another man before.

"Take them off," Barry whispered.

Roy wiggled out of his jeans and boxers. Barry pulled him in for another kiss before grabbing the man's thighs and pulling him over his waist. Roy moaned in shock and pleasure.

"Are you okay with this?" Barry asked.

He was pressing the head of his member against Roy's entrance. The younger man nodded and moaned. Barry entered him slowly, making sure he didn't hurt Roy.

"Barry, please, move!"

Barry nodded and thrust into the red head softly. Roy grabbed his shoulders and curled his toes as Barry's pace began to quicken.

Roy felt complete with him. He felt like this was the right place to be. Barry was the only therapy he needed now and nothing could change that.

Barry loved the way Roy made him feel. It was beyond any kind of pleasure he'd ever felt with Iris. They both knew this was more than physical. Every breath they shared was bliss and every kiss was magical.

Roy never wanted this to end, but he knew everything had an expiration date...even an orgasm.

"Barry!" Roy moaned, throwing his arms around his neck. He arched his back and screamed as he came on the man's shirt and rode out his orgasm.

"Roy," Barry croaked, stopping all movements.

He was twitching terribly, but didn't move for the sake of the younger man.

"Do you want me to...you know..."

"Say it Barry," Roy whimpered.

"Do you want me...you want me to cum inside you?"

Yes!" Roy cried. "Please! Cum inside me Barry!"

Barry released everything he had with one loud yell. Roy groaned and bit the man's collar-bone to keep himself from making anymore noise.

They both fell to the ground. Barry kept Roy in his arms and held him there, wanting to never let go. His shoulder felt wet and warm, but when he looked to see what it was, the sight shocked him.

Roy was crying. This wasn't just some swing of emotions. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were wet with tears. He held Barry close to him and sobbed.

"Roy," Barry began. "You do something to me that no one else ever has. I don't understand it. You're so amazing...I'd give up anything for you."

"But...you wouldn't give up your marriage would you?" Roy asked.

Barry didn't answer. Roy wiped his face with the front of his hand and sighed. Barry was still in love with Iris. Roy knew he was. But was he only using him as a rubbing tool? Or was this something more than that?

"Listen," Barry whispered, turning Roy's face to see his. "I think I love you."

"Barry..."

He kissed the red head, making sure to put everything he had into it. Then he pulled away and stood up, carrying Roy to the bathroom while he was still inside him.

"We should really get cleaned up," the blonde man laughed before kissing his love interest behind his ear.

"What does this make us?" Roy asked.

The speedster smiled widely. They both knew the answer to that one already.


End file.
